Next Up: The Apocalypse!

I didn't want to talk about Twilight so soon in my blog. I wanted to wait a bit before I do a full-blown post discussing how the series has increasingly decayed the intelligence of our society. And I will wait to do that full-blown post, but right now, I must address a pressing Twilight issue at hand:

That's right. HarperCollins is publishing Wuthering Heights with a Twilight theme attached. I can't deal with the absolute RIDICULOUSNESS of it all. In case you can't see well, there's a stamp on the book cover that reads: Bella & Edward's Favorite Book.

It then has the tagline: LOVE NEVER DIES.

Excuse me, I just threw up a bit in my mouth.

Twilight should not be used in the same sentence as Wuthering Heights (starting now). Unfortunately, these texts are often compared as equals. Last semester, I wrote an article for a newspaper on campus and sent it to a former high school teacher (I would link to the article, but that would reveal my "true" identity). She responded with:

I enjoyed the op ed piece so much that I'm printing it out to use next semester in A.P.! Students actually referenced Twilight (ugh!!!) when we were researching archetypes during Wuthering Heights. Talk about pop cultural allusions!

A.P. English is supposedly for intelligent students, yet Twilight has permeated into this intellectual space. Here's the serious issue here, Wuthering Heights is a real piece of literature that invokes some sort of thought process. Fans of Wuthering Heights can build discussions based purely on the biblical references that are sprinkled throughout the novel, whilst Twilight fans' generally refer to Twilight as a "great love story." Anything else you want to add to that? Are there any nuances that can seriously be considered positive? I, myself, could probably write a 10 page essay about Twilight, but it wouldn't really be about all the significant references that Stephenie Meyer's uses because there aren't any. Instead, my essay would be about how unintentionally misogynistic the book is and how it's popularity is a sad commentary on the state of our society. The point is, there really isn't anything literarily significant to say about the novel.

When reading about this atrocity, my jaw dropped (it's a medical condition) and I explained to my sister what was going on. Her response?

As long as it's getting people to read Wuthering Heights...

But, that is precisely my issue. We shouldn't have to "get people to read." Is this really the world we are living in? Can an amazing classic only be picked up by young individuals when its cover is plastered with images and words associated with a series that is so sub-par? Not only that, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Twilight fans won't quite understand that Catherine Earnshaw and Heathcliff's relationship is far from ideal. In fact, that was the major internal conflict for Catherine and Heathcliff. Their love for each other was past unhealthy (case in point when Catherine screams, "I am Heathcliff!"). If Twilight fans can so easily embrace the relationship between Edward and Bella as being absolute perfection, then they will most certainly have trouble understanding the subtleties of Catherine and Heathcliff's relationship.

What's even more upsetting to me is that the Galley Cat blog failed to discuss the blasphemy of associating these books together. Rather, Ron Hogan (the poster) decided to blather on about the style of the covers. He finds the UK cover (the one in the middle) most unappealing:

What's most wrong with the UK cover of Wuthering Heights is where it deviates from the Twilight model: ugly typeface, tiny ugly flower, and an ugly background that isn't sheer black

Seriously? It's really refreshing to see that voices in the literary world have their qualms in the proper place.

Well, if we are starting to judge a book by its cover then I think this would be the most appropriate way to end the post: